You know that feeling when you reflexively say yes to something when you actually want to say no, because you feel like that's what you have to do?

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Or when you don't say what you really want because you're afraid it may ruffle

some feathers and risk potential conflict?

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When you constantly put your needs aside to please others and then experience resentment afterwards because, yet again, you didn't do something that was important

to you, voice your truth, need or want, or because the other person didn't think of

your capacity so that they do not ask you in the first place.

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You may feel that you always have to be polite, and that other people's satisfaction and comfort have to come before your own, even when your boundaries are being crossed.

 

Or perhaps there are no boundaries at all, because setting them may create potential reactions from others.

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You might find yourself over-explaining, just to make sure you're understood

and that others aren't uncomfortable with your truth.

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Or maybe you've become so disconnected from your own needs that you find it difficult to even identify what you want, because somewhere along the way you learned that saying what you want is selfish and that you should always prioritise what others want.

 

All of these moments where you suppress your inner truth, your authenticity and your wants can create frustration and anger, because it's not sustainable to keep denying yourself just to please other people.

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And actually, experiencing that resentment or anger can be a very good sign.

 

It can be your system reminding you that your truth and wants matter too.

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You came here to be your own unique expression of your true self.

 

And when you keep silencing that in order to be what others expect you to be, you deprive the right people of the opportunity to see you and connect with who you truly are.

 

And if you've thought that being a people-pleaser is simply who you are, I'm here to tell you that it's actually a brilliant protective mechanism that developed long ago, serving

a purpose: to keep you safe relationally in environments where it wasn't safe to be yourself.

 

But now, as an adult, you can rewire this mechanism and create inner safety,

so it doesn't have to work so hard or compromise the truth of who you are. 

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So that you can begin to feel safe being fully yourself, without constantly

needing to shape who you are around what others expect from you.

 

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